So most of my posts are positive (don't worry this one will be too--eventually), but I'm a human (insert joke here) so sometimes I have bad days. One of my friends has said to me many times "I always forget that you're sick!!" This is because I have been blessed to still live the "good life" meaning I can drive, get around without assistance, and generally take care of myself. Today I'm going to talk about some things that are not so cute:
1.) Blood. If the sight of blood freaks you out, this is not the disease for you! (kidding. this isn't the disease for anyone!) You actually SEE your blood (and the blood of those around you if you're looking) traveling through the needles and tubes. Also there's monthly blood work, and blood work anytime you see a doctor. That's more looking at blood. Every once in a while you bleed when the needles are removed. This can happen for any number of reasons. It could be you're not applying enough pressure, you have high venous pressure, or another issue with your access. This has happened to me on several occasions. It can be alarming to watch yourself losing a large amount of blood. When it starts looking like a murder scene, I usually seek out some sort of distraction. Usually it's music (gospel, show tunes, or surprise-Leslie Odom Jr.). My most recent distraction was discussing NYC restaurant choices with a technician. Blood poured from my arm while he told me about a place with cat on the menu!
2.) Work Schedule. It is possible to work as a dialysis patient. However, depending on your dialysis schedule, it can be very difficult. I have dialysis Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 3:30PM. That makes it hard to work a full time job because you would need to leave early three days a week. This can easily hurt your pockets. How am I going to be able to afford the fancy cat restaurant on these hours??
3.) Your Ever-changing Body. Sounds like middle school, right? I've lost weight. I've gained weight. I've been swollen and full of fluid. The way I look, and more importantly the way my clothes fit changes constantly.
So there you have it. Secret's out. CKD is not so glamorous. Yet despite the bad, I have some really good days, and I'm surrounded by really good people. Even my worst days haven't stopped me from pushing forward. Don't let your bad days stop you either. Whether it's CKD, another disease, a break-up, a job loss, or whatever. Go ahead and acknowledge the bad or unglamorous then keep moving towards your next good day.